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CHAPTER 8 Transgenerational Models Family Systems Theory…
CHAPTER 8
Transgenerational Models
Family Systems Theory (Bowen)
160. Where do you fit, in relationship to your family, on Bowen’s Differentiation of Self scale? Remember that people at the low end are emotionally fused to the family and thus are dominated by the feelings of those around them. At the other extreme of the scale, the high end, people are able to separate thinking from feeling and thus retain autonomy under stress.
Place yourself on the scale below and explain your answer.
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25 50 75 100 Fusion Differentiation of Self
161. What scores on Bowen’s scale would you assign:
a. your mother?
b. your father?
c. your oldest sibling?
d. your youngest sibling?
Explain your reasons.
162. Would you say that you and your siblings exhibit comparable degrees of individuality? Is one more independent that the other? How does the family as a whole interact with the more independent and more enmeshed member(s)? Explain.
163. How would you rate the degree of anxiety that generally characterizes your family? What happens to the anxiety level in your family when a member seeks to individuate?
164. During one weekly session a husband and wife considering divorce relentlessly express rage towards each other. The therapist invites the couple to bring their sixteen-year-old son to the next session. They therapist asks the young man, “What do you think of your parents getting a divorce?” The boy sadly answers, “Finally, someone has asked me my opinion.” The parents realize that they have been so locked in their shared rage that they have neglected their son and not realized the impact of their fighting on him. What is this intervention by the therapist called? How does it work? In the following session, with the young man again present, all three rage at each other with no one hearing what the others are saying. What do you think has happened within the family since last week? Explain.
165. Following the example above (question number 164), the family’s college-age daughter comes to the next session. The therapist notices that the siblings seem to want you to tell the parents to get over their problems and to stay together. On hearing this, the parents suddenly join together and attack the children by angrily saying to the therapist: “Whether we stay together or not can’t be decided by the children, right?” What has happened to the family system with the addition of the daughter? Has anxiety been moderated by the presence of a new person? Explain the new development.
166. Bowenians contend that any of three possible symptomatic behavior patterns may appear as a result of intense fusion between the parents: physical or emotional dysfunction in a spouse; chronic, unresolved marital conflict; psychological impairment in a child. Did any of these patterns occur in your family? Describe the circumstances.
167. Bowen believed that parents functioning at a low level of differentiation may transmit their immaturity to their most vulnerable, fusion-prone child. Did this or a similar family projection process occur in your family? Which child was most susceptible to such fusion? Explain.
168. Emotional cutoff in a family occurs when one member distances himself or herself from the others in order to break emotional ties. Distancing may take the form of a geographic move, unwillingness to attend family get-togethers, stopping talking to one or more relatives, etc. Has any of this occurred in your family? How did the emotional cutoff affect the problem?
169. Bowen worked with the family in creating a family history (genogram) while Whitaker invited grandparents to join parents and children in a family session. Which would work better for your family? Why?
170. Make a genogram of your family, covering at least three generations. What have you learned about relationships within your family from the genogram?
171. Identify as best you can any unresolved attachment issues with respect to your family. If you are aware of any, do you see how they might affect the way you interact with your choice of boyfriend, girlfriend, spouse or partner? Describe and explain.
172. What is your sibling position in your family of origin? How does it match the sibling position of a significant person in your life (spouse, roommate, lover)?
173. Bowen advocated keeping down the emotional intensity in his work with families, so that the members might more easily think through what was causing their difficulties. Is there a member of your family who plays a similar role? Describe.
Contextual Therapy (Borszormenyi-Nagy)
174. What resources can you find from the past history of your family that sustain or enrich your life today?
175. In your family ledger, what are some of the “unpaid debts” or restitutions that need to be made? If mother worked to put father through school, has she been repaid? Was there an imbalance in childcare responsibilities? Was that debt erased? If not, what are the residuals?
176. Family legacies dictate debts and entitlements. What legacies did you inherit? Were you expected to be an athlete, a musician, a scholar, a failure, beautiful, etc.? How have you carried those legacies into your current relationships?
177. To function effectively, family members must be held accountable for their dealings with one another. How does your family balance entitlement and indebtedness?
178. Has there been a death in your family where you believe grief was never sufficiently expressed? How did that affect family functioning?
CHAPTER 9
Experiential Models
The Symbolic-Experiential View (Whitaker)
179. You and your family show up for family therapy. At first, you all find the therapist to be funny and engaging. In time, though, he starts to introduce his own fantasies and unconscious processes during the session. Once, he even falls asleep. How would you and your family respond to such an approach?
180. Have you ever experienced a time in your life when “acting crazy” was a liberating experience? Describe.
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181. Which one of the following two approaches would your family of origin have felt best met its needs: a therapist who believed in dealing primarily with feelings or one who emphasized rational analysis?
182. As a follow up to the question above, would you now pick a therapist consistent with your family of origin patterns or one contrary to them? Explain your answer.
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183. How would you feel about having your grandparents (separately or together) in a family therapy session with you and your parents? What special problems would arise? What special advantages might there be?
184. Imagine a situation in which your therapist expresses her or his genuine annoyance with you? How do you imagine you would feel? Could you imagine any benefits to you from this authentic exchange?
185. Whitaker took the position that each person in therapy is, to some degree, a patient and therapist to one another. Discuss your reaction to this statement.
186. How comfortable would you be as a therapist disclosing personal aspects of yourself (your fantasies, impulses, images, or metaphors from your own life) to your clients?
187. Whitaker had a number of “rules” for “staying alive” as a human being and as a therapist, as described in the text. One was to “enjoy your mate more than your kids, and be childish with your mate.” Was that rule true of your parents? How true the rule for you if you have a spouse and children? Describe. Why do you think Whitaker believed this rule would help you to “stay alive?”
188. The use of co-therapy as an effective therapeutic technique has been debated. List some pros and cons and state your position. How do you imagine you would feel working with a co-therapist?
Gestalt Viewpoint (Kempler)
189. Read the following dialogue involving a wife, husband, and their therapist. The wife has admitted that she feels despair over the way her husband pushes her around.
Wife: So last night, I made dinner for Bruce (her husband), and after it was all done, he said he wasn’t in the mood for the fish I prepared and said he wanted to go out instead.
Husband: I don’t see what the big deal was? I didn’t feel like fish. Therapist: What happened?
Wife: It broke my heart to throw out all that good food, but Bruce just wouldn’t eat it. We went out.
Therapist. How else did you feel?
Wife: Well, I was ok once we got to the restaurant.
Husband: You wouldn’t have known that to look at you. You didn’t say a word.
Therapist: I can’t stand this! It feels like your husband walks all over you and you are the welcome mat who lets him. I want to punch him out.
Husband: Hey, buddy, watch what you’re saying?
Therapist: Why should I? How can it hurt for you to know what your wife feels when you assert yourself so aggressively without concern for her feelings? I’ll care about your feelings when you start to care about hers. Do you think you can do that? Can you start to appreciate how it feels to be pushed around?
Can you imagine this sort of interaction ever being appropriate? Following Kempler’s Gestalt approach, what would the goal be for this sort of intervention? And again following Kempler, what would you say if you sensed the wife becoming very hurt or frightened or the husband’s anger escalating in a dangerous way?
190. Learning to communicate “I” messages is a basis exercise for Gestalt family therapy. For example, instead of an accusatory “You never pay attention to me!” an “I” message might be “I’m feeling ignored by you and it’s upsetting me.” Talk to a significant person in your life expressing “I” messages only, and note how the transaction between you changes.
The Human Validation Viewpoint (Satir)
191. Satir stressed the mind-body relationship in her growth-enhancing, health-promoting therapeutic interventions. Discuss your own experiences with such body language connections (a pain in the neck, a stiff upper lip, etc.).
192. Satir classified family communication patterns in the following way: Placater Super-reasonable Congruent Blamer Irrelevant
Describe a member of your family of origin or your current family using one of these categories, paying particular attention to that person’s characteristic way of interacting.
193. Satir contended that the way the family communicates reflects the feelings of self-worth of its members. Dysfunctional communication (indirect, unclear, incomplete, unclarified, inaccurate, distorted, inappropriate) characterizes a dysfunctional family system. Describe your family’s communication style and assess the sense of self-worth you believe each member feels and of the family as a whole.
194. Satir contrasted two worldviews with respect to family life: the “Threat and Reward” model and the “Seed” model. Review these concepts in the textbook. Which would you say characterizes the way your family members relate to each other? Provide and analyze an example from actual experience that reflects this worldview.
CLASS EXERCISE
Form a group of four persons in your classroom. Each should choose a new first name, then decide on a last name and assume a family role. Stay with your same sex role, but do not necessarily stay in your real life family (a son can be a father, etc.) Your communication should be as follows:
Pick a communication style and maintain it.
If you are a blamer, begin each sentence with statements such as “You are never” or “You are always.” Find fault.
If you are a placater, take the blame for everything that goes wrong. Make sure no one gets hurt. Never say what you want.
The irrelevant one must not communicate in words properly. Be distracting.
The super-reasonable one must be stiff and proper. Stick to the facts, ignore feelings, or greet them with statistics.
Have a five minute discussion in front of the class. Stop. Relax. Report any messages you might be receiving from your body. What has happened in your new family? How did it make you feel? Share your impressions with one another and with the class.
Emotionally Focused Couple Therapy (Greenberg & Johnson)
195. Can you identify any efforts in your family to block emotional engagement (distracting, making jokes, leaving the room, etc.)? What was the result on family communication?
196. What repetitive, negative interactive patterns restrict optimal functioning in your family?
